I have noticed that I "sneak" a lot, here and there. Last night it was a garlic biscuit, and some chocolate chips shortly before bed. It wasn't a lot, but it was still food! I have found myself sneaking bites of what I make for everyone else(for the sake of taste) I wouldn't want to feed my family something that tastes bad. I ate 2 or 3 chicken nuggets that the kids had yesterday for lunch. I was battling my flesh SO HARD that I finally had to tell Heather to move them out of my sight. The same with the garlic biscuits, the night I made them I fought myself not to eat one, then did....then fought myself to the point of asking Eric to move them to the other side of the table so that I wouldn't eat another one. I had a garlic biscuit this morning while I was making breakfast. I had to FIGHT myself to not go into the kitchen last night everytime I got up to go to the bathroom. Literally argue with myself, and battle and make myself just go back to bed empty handed. I am realizing that might be my biggest downfall! They seem so small and insignificant, which is why in my head I can reason out why it isn't "so bad". But, seeing it all put together, makes it seem a lot BIGGER!! Now my sinful self wants to say, "
Oh, but I don't do this all the time, just the past couple days are bad examples". But is that really true? Or does it just seem that way because before I wasn't fighting myself to NOT eat when I would get a hankering for something. This is something that I definitely have to conquer. Maybe even to the point of designating myself healthy snacks to have between meals so that I don't reach for the quick unhealthy stuff when it hits me and I have a craving. It literally reminds me of what it was like when I quit smoking. I would have the WORST withdrawals and be DYING for a cigarette. I must say, I did not expect it to be THIS hard. Controlling my eating is proving to be A LOT harder than exercising. I guess because I naturally WANT to be more active, so I am pleasing myself in an exhausting kind of way, lol. Just gotta keep the motto....ONE DAY AT A TIME!!, I might even have to resort to ONE HOUR AT A TIME!! Praying the Lord will give me strength!