Today has been a mixed day. Feeling good/ feeling bleh! The Lord is teaching me so much right now. How so many things tie together. Currently I have a heightened awareness of how often I allow people/things to steal my joy. I easily get frustrated and aggravated and irritated and I just want to STEW and SPEW! That is the beginning to an awful rest of the day for me. I am finding that I am so emotionally driven...either for the good, or for the bad. SIGH! I have found myself in that place I often find myself after an emotional *high*...in a depressional *LOW*. I have no desire to do anything. I am irritated at myself for allowing myself to get to this place. This is when I usually give up and go about my normal old self and start eating everything in sight (comfort eater) and just wallow in my ugly mess of emotions. But, I'm not going to do that this time. God has shown me something in the past couple days. For the longest time, I would have days like this and think that they were completely unprovoked and have no idea why I am so depressed. "It's just me".....Right and wrong! It is me, but it is me AFTER I allow something or someone to *derail* my emotional train. I have taken my eyes off of Him and allowed myself to get lost in the messes of this world. I will fight through this, because I now understand why I am like this. I am going to guard my mind. When I get frustrated about something, I am going to vent to HIM and pray and ask for Him to take it. I don't need it. It is certainly not doing me any good! And what is the point? I am only hurting myself! My shoulders are not big enough nor designed to hold all the worries around me or even the ones that I create myself! I most certainly have more important things to focus on and I MOST certainly have more things to be singing and praising His name for! The only way someone/something can steal my joy is if I LET it! Not anymore! Lord forgive me for allowing such petty things to rob me of the JOY of being Your child! You are with me and You will renew me everyday if I ask. Help me fix my eyes on You and only You!
Meals:
Breakfast: strawberry,banana, oats and grains shake
Lunch: Kale and mozzarella cheese egg bake ( tried a breakfast recipe)
kale chips
I had a couple bites of biscuit and a couple bites of zucchini bread that I made.
Supper: Lemon-herb Tilapia served with brown rice./water
I had 2 more pieces of zucchini bread for "dessert"
Exercise:
volleyball game and house work
Very proud of your courage to bare you honest soul in search of something much greater than a healthy weight but a closer, firmer understanding of who God is and how He wants to lead in all areas of your life.
ReplyDeleteThank you...it has been hard, because I am naturally a very private person, but I just write as if to myself....and then it share *wince*
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