Friday, January 31, 2014

Friday, January 31, 2014

I'm excited this morning!! My wonderful sister is allowing me to use her old iphone till my upgrade comes up and I just downloaded this awesome app called myfitnesspal. :) It tracks SO much to help you achieve your goals :) I am excited to start using it! I am also excited to go to the gym today....MAN! It has been too long feels like! Sad thing is today is Friday :(  No class on the weekends... Giving God all the glory today and looking forward to sweating off some weight!!


Meals:

Breakfast: broccoli, mushroom, ham and cheddar egg bake/ coffee, water

Lunch: salad with homemade dressing/ coffee 

Supper: 2 pieces of chicken, green beans, broccoli with cheese/ water
I also had several pieces of a yummy low calorie brownie... It was amazing! And a cheese stick.

Exercise:
1 hour devoted fitness and helped Eric stack and split wood

Thursday January 30, 2014

 The start of a new week!! I feel real good :) Excited about my 2 lb. loss and eager to keep it up!! :)
Meals:
Breakfast: Strawberry and banana shake with oats and grains, wheat germ and nutritional yeast.... I think I was a little over zealous lol, but I drank it :)

Lunch: Experimented with a new breakfast recipe. Broccoli, mushroom, ham and cheddar egg bake. (It was good, but not as good as my kale recipe!) 

Supper: chili with black beans, cannellini beans, and deer meat 

Exercise:
helped Eric stack some wood. Housework.

Thursday, January 30, 2014

Weekly weigh-in and pic 1/30/3014

I will admit, I have been dreading this day all week. I haven't done near the exercise I set out to do and weighing off and on during the week did not boost my enthusiasm any! I was SO scared that I was going to have to post that I didn't lose anything....but GAINED!....However, I said a prayer and stepped on the scale this morning....327 lbs.!!!! While it isn't the 5 lbs. I lost last week, it's still a loss and 2 lbs. that I am EXTREMELY happy that I no longer have weighing me down!! VICTORY IN JESUS!! I am praising His name!!! I am now smaller than I have been in YEARS. Oh....it just excites me and gives me confidence that soon I will be able to say 299 lbs.!! I will seriously cry when that day comes. Only 28 lbs. to go! I do plan to hit it hard this week because while 2 lbs. is great, 5 lbs. is the cake!!(figuratively of course ;) )

327 lbs.!!

Wednesday, January 29, 2014

I had a random WOW thought enter my head this morning while thinking about all that I had said yesterday in my post. Before now(this winter) I would have bet you MONEY that I had seasonal depression. It happens the same every year. I feel renewed in the Spring, wanting to go around and open every window and door and just let God's good air in....*deep inhale.....* AGHHHHHHH! I start preparing for garden season, summer comes....yuck it's hot.... but still seeing God's beautiful sunlight *SMILE* Fall comes, my favorite season. It's not too hot, not too cold....just pleasant. Then winter hits...close all the windows, pull the curtains closed, and try hard to keep the winter cold out. Along with it, comes GLOOM. Wanting to curl up in a ball and stay there till spring comes again. But NOT this year. I haven't felt like that this year. The only real change in this year and every year in the past is I am actively exercising. I have found that I have more energy, I am keeping my house relatively cleaned on a constant basis( which is NOT me) I am the..."We are having company....CLEAN!!" type person. Otherwise, it would look like a bomb went off most of the time. (EEK confessional time?) I really feel great *most* of the time. That is not my normal. Especially NOT in the middle of winter!! I can certainly get used to this! Another wonderful reason to keep going! Who in their right mind would want to go back to gloomy days and dark nights???? Not me! I didn't go to the gym, this morning, it was too cold to get the kids out. But I am cleaning....actually doing the stuff that you would consider "spring" cleaning, so I am definitely getting some exercise in. I really want to do my devoted fitness today also, we will see how the day goes.

Meals:

Breakfast: Kale and mozzarella egg bake, banana and an orange/ water, coffee

Lunch: not sure that I ate lunch lol....but supper was early.

Supper: Grilled chicken salad from DQ. and I have about 5 fries.....

later I had a couple bites of a chicken chowder soup, and when I got home I had 1 slice of my zucchini bread.

Exercise:
nothing specifically exercise, but I cleaned out our fans that circulate our heat and oh my....my arms are killing me!! (holding the vacuum hose up high for LONG periods of time)

Wednesday, January 29, 2014

Giving it up to HIM!! Tuesday, January 28, 2014

Today has been a mixed day. Feeling good/ feeling bleh! The Lord is teaching me so much right now. How so many things tie together. Currently I have a heightened awareness of how often I allow people/things to steal my joy. I easily get frustrated and aggravated and irritated and I just want to STEW and SPEW! That is the beginning to an awful rest of the day for me. I am finding that I am so emotionally driven...either for the good, or for the bad. SIGH! I have found myself in that place I often find myself after an emotional *high*...in a depressional *LOW*. I have no desire to do anything. I am irritated at myself for allowing myself to get to this place. This is when I usually give up and go about my normal old self and start eating everything in sight (comfort eater) and just wallow in my ugly mess of emotions. But, I'm not going to do that this time. God has shown me something in the past couple days. For the longest time, I would have days like this and think that they were completely unprovoked and have no idea why I am so depressed. "It's just me".....Right and wrong! It is me, but it is me AFTER I allow something or someone to *derail* my emotional train. I have taken my eyes off of Him and allowed myself to get lost in the messes of this world. I will fight through this, because I now understand why I am like this. I am going to guard my mind. When I get frustrated about something, I am going to vent to HIM and pray and ask for Him to take it. I don't need it. It is certainly not doing me any good! And what is the point? I am only hurting myself! My shoulders are not big enough nor designed to hold all the worries around me or even the ones that I create myself! I most certainly have more important things to focus on and I MOST certainly have more things to be singing and praising His name for! The only way someone/something can steal my joy is if I LET it! Not anymore! Lord forgive me for allowing such petty things to rob me of the JOY of being Your child! You are with me and You will renew me everyday if I ask. Help me fix my eyes on You and only You! 



Meals:

Breakfast: strawberry,banana, oats and grains shake

Lunch: Kale and mozzarella cheese egg bake ( tried a breakfast recipe) 
kale chips

I had a couple bites of biscuit and a couple bites of zucchini bread that I made.

Supper: Lemon-herb Tilapia served with brown rice./water

I had 2 more pieces of zucchini bread for "dessert" 


Exercise:
volleyball game and house work

Monday, January 27, 2014

Monday, January 27, 2014

So today was a rough start! I DID NOT want to get out of bed this morning....I was SOOO sleepy. But I knew I NEEDED to get my bottom to the gym today. I haven't been/done any considerable exercise in 3 DAYS! Our normal ladies didn't come, so Cathy and I got on the ellipticals instead and then went and played some racquetball. I plan to cook myself some meals today to put in the freezer and pull out when it's meal time. Going to try several new recipes, so hopefully they all turn out delicious!



Meals:

Breakfast: banana, fruit and grain bar/ coffee, water

Lunch: Beef and Cabbage soup(Yumm), kale chips/water

Supper: Pork Tenderloin, green beans, corn

Exercise:
35 min. on the elliptical!! Racquetball.
2 volleyball games!! :)

Sunday, January 26, 2014

Agh Sunday, what a great day! Today in worship at church we sang a song that totally gripped my heart.....

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P8PLBQrzWQ8

Some of the lyrics....
Give me faith,
to trust what you say,
that Your good,
and Your love is great,
I'm broken inside, 
I give you my life..

I MAY BE WEAK,
BUT YOUR SPIRIT'S STRONG IN ME,
MY FLESH MAY FAIL, 
BUT MY GOD, 
YOU NEVER WILL!

That is my PROCLAMATION!! I am weak. I will fail. But through God, I can conquer all things! Completely lost in worshipping my King. Emptying my soul before Him and saying I am Yours. You can have me!..... 

I have had many people say, "make them(my family) eat what you eat"( to help with controlling temptations).... I don't want to do that. To me, that is me saying, I can't have self control, and if you put something in front of me, I will eat it. I. don't. want. that. My desire is not to remove all temptation, so I do not HAVE to learn to control myself... I want the opposite. I want to be in situations where I HAVE to lean on my Father, and practice self control. Where I can feel Him helping me conquer my mountains. Only then will I truly conquer them and they will become little hills to me. So for lunch....we went to Godfather's. Eric really wanted pizza. At first, he declined and said, "we will go somewhere else instead". Then, I said. " no, we can eat there. I can have a salad." So we went there, and I had salad for lunch. They ate pizza. Was I tempted....Oh yea....did I want pizza....SHHH YEAH!! But, I practiced self control and had salad. I prayed before we even went in the God would help me stay strong, and He did. I was able to enjoy myself, have a good time with my family....while eating a salad and not eating pizza. It was a good time. Thank you Father. Later, we were invited to a dear friends house for supper and a movie. We had a wonderful time, we got to see people that we hadn't seen in too long! And we all visited, fellowshipped, and had a lovely time. We had soup and garlic bread for supper. I had soup. Cookies, ice cream, apples, popcorn and pretzels for snack/dessert, I had apples and some popcorn/pretzels. My Father is helping me. It feels amazing. He is helping me turn my mountains into little hills and I am thankful. This is how I will reach my goal. Through Him.


Meals:

Breakfast: Apple, 1 fruit and cream cheese wrap/coffee

Lunch: 2 plates of salad/lemonade

Supper: Soup, apple slices, popcorn,pretzels(little bowl full)/ coffee, water

Exercise:
none. :(


Saturday, January 25, 2014

Saturday January 25, 2014

Today is a special day. We celebrated my nephew's 3rd birthday and welcomed another nephew into the world!! Happy Birthday Matthew and Henley!! As far as me, I did good and bad today. I had a banana for breakfast and inadvertently had a banana for lunch also. So that was not so good as I doubt I had adequate nutrition from that. However, it was good in the fact that I avoided indulging in pizza, icecream and cake.....


Meals:

Breakfast: banana/coffee

Lunch: Banana/ water

Supper: tacos with lettuce as the tortilla, and a plate of nachos.

Exercise:
I helped Eric unload a truck load of wood.

Friday, January 24, 2014

Friday, January 24, 2014

Today is Friday!!!! Which should have been gym day!...but with the frigid temperatures I stayed home. Don't want to get my babies out in this weather :( So another living room workout for me today. Feeling pretty good this morning. I'm a little ..meh...but I'm having my morning coffee so hopefully that will turn into go-getter mode!

I did my grocery shopping today. Excited to try out some new recipes that I found today!

Meals:
Breakfast: blueberry oatmeal with stevia/ water/coffee

Lunch: salad

Supper:deer burgers with lettuce and ketchup

Exercise:
I didn't get time :(

Thursday, January 23, 2014

Thursday, January 23, 2014

I am doing a lot of praying today. Prayer for the Lord to renew my inner strength to start this week off well and work hard for the next weigh-in day. I do not want to allow myself to become discouraged. Another big downfall of mine. When I become discouraged about ANYTHING, it depresses me; which sends me into EAT mode. I am a COMFORT EATER! I tell you nothing makes ya feel better when you are down like a big bag of nacho cheese doritos. NOT! But for some reason, that is where I look for it at. Agh...yet another lesson the Lord is teaching me and I am only in week 2! He is showing me just how empty that bag really is and the ONLY thing it is giving me another pound! I need to lean on Him if I find myself needing comfort. After all, He is the COMFORTER......and I know through my own past experience that He will give comfort to those that ask. Yet for some reason, I never ask. He is showing me a lot of things.....like my personal prayer life....stinks! I pray to Him all day long for other people. Lord give them strength, peace, comfort, healing....but yet when I need those things, rather than praying... I eat. *SIGH* So that will be my goal this week. To pray and lean on Him when I feel the need for comfort and strength. I know He will give it freely. I just have to ask. 


Meals:

Breakfast: a protein shake with strawberries, grapes, oats and grains, whey powder, milk./coffee


Lunch: totally delicious salad!



Supper: 1 1/2 deer burgers with lettuce and cheese with ketchup. and 4 or 5 homemade onion rings. 


Exercise:
45 min. of devoted fitness

I heard a song today that I hadn't heard before. It is by Jesus Culture and it's called "Rooftops". What a song! God, I am yours!!!

Weekly weigh-in and pic

:) Today I am officially 5 lbs. lighter!! I am now 329 lbs. I couldn't be more excited!! I am in the 20's now!!! NO GOING BACK!!! I decided to wear some more "fitting" clothes...*GULP* so that I can see a better difference over time. And I plan on wearing the same clothes every time I take them and *try to stand the same way. I tell you, I was totally stoked this morning when I got on the scale, and then I went and took my picture.... It kinda stole my stokeness away. I'm trying to not let it, as I know this is going to be a LONG journey and I am just starting....So I am doing my best to look forward in anticipation to the pictures that will follow in the next weeks and months. You know, you just never really feel you are as overweight as you really are....TILL you look at yourself in a picture, and you have a chance to slowly analyze what you see. After all, I don't really see myself in a full-length mirror that often...if ever. Though it hurts, I know that it is good. I know that if I keep going, the little changes will become evident, and over time, I can look back at my beginning pictures to where I am and be able to see the *HUGE* difference I long for. 5 lbs..... gone.... I pray the Lord would give me strength to have the same progress this week! 


329 lbs.!!

Wednesday, January 22, 2014

Wednesday January 22, 2014

Today is a good day....I can feel it. I'm excited about weighing tomorrow. This week has been victorious!! It started out rough, but it is ending well :) I have gym today. After my normal stuff, I think Heather and I are going to practice some volleyball :) I feel as though I am regaining control over my eating, especially the "little" bites here and there. I'm really leaning on the Lord for strength. I wish I did that with all things in my life. He always takes my mountains and shows me that through Him, they become little hills. I am so thankful that I have a God that cares enough to lighten the burdens of His people when they ask. I just have to remember to ASK! ......


....Agh :) Workout today was SO good!! We had a lady in class today that had a cool pedometer. She started it before class and after class she checked it. 6,500 steps, like 2.84 miles, and 800+ calories burned!! WOW! LOVE IT!

Meals:

Breakfast: 1 cereal bar/coffee/water

Lunch: 1 bite of a fried taco(leftovers) and veggie soup/ Water. 

Supper: Salad with homemade ranch and some leftover green beans and corn

Exercise:
14 min. on elliptical, 1 hour df class, 2 sets of 12 reps on weights, 30 min. raquetball and 30 min. practicing volleyball with Heather.

Tuesday, January 21, 2014

Tuesday, January 21, 2014

Woke up this morning feeling great! It is 3pm and I have cleaned almost the entire house! Emma is down for her afternoon nap and I am fixing to go and do my devoted fitness in the livingroom. I pray my energy levels stay this way! I am beyond tickled that I have a volleyball game tonight! Controlling my mouth has *started* to become a little easier. I have successfully turned away a yummy bite here and there, even when there was no one there to catch me if I had indulged myself. It sounds so trivial and childish, and the shame starts when I think about it. But I am changing, so it's only heads up from here! I secretly weighed myself this morning, but I am not going to post my weight till I weigh again on Thursday. Once a week! (but I am DEF. headed in the right direction and SO EXCITED about it!) Standing tall right now, and I give all the glory to God. He gives me strength and blesses me with so many reasons to keep on going! I can have confidence in myself that I CAN achieve this, Because I have Him to help me. He gives me the strength to push myself beyond what I think are my limits. Thank you Father!!! 

Meals:

Breakfast: Today I inadvertently skipped breakfast.... but I did have one of my oatmeal balls.

Lunch: Veggie soup with deer meat and coffee/water

Supper: 2 cheeseburgers( only 1/2 slice of cheese per burger) with ketchup and lettuce as my bun. 

Snacks: 2 oatmeal balls


 Exercise:
 Today I did about 45 min. of devoted fitness.

Monday, January 20, 2014

Monday January 20, 2014

Well, today starts a new week! I plan on weighing myself once a week, so I'll need to weigh myself Thursday. Getting ready to go to the gym this morning, sipping on some coffee. Oh how I love devoted fitness. I can seriously see myself later on, when I have lost all this weight, becoming an instructor. It has done so many wonderful things for me. I often get lost in worship while doing it, and there are soooo many times when I feel like stopping that the words in a song remind me of the God I serve and that through Him, I can do it. He gives me the strength I need to press on and keep going and then before I know it, I have completed the hour. It's amazing how when I am so lost in worship that I no longer feel fatigued, I start doing the moves as an act of worship and I lose the feeling of being tired, my muscles regain their strength, and I am just worshipping my maker!! The Lord is so awesome! Thank you Lord for allowing me to find devoted fitness!! 


Meals:

Breakfast: 1 fruit and grain bar with water/coffee

Lunch: Salad and a yogurt parfait. water/coffee

Supper: Deer steak, corn, and green beans. Later, I had 2 oatmeal balls that I made.

Exercise:
I did almost 8 min. on the elliptical, 1 hr. devoted fitness, 2 reps of 12 on all weight machine, 1 rep of 20 on all weights, then another 10 min. on the elliptical. Feelin GOOD!!! 

Sunday, January 19, 2014

Sunday, January 19, 2014

Today was a good day overall. Church went well, I helped out in a children's ss class so that helped me with my morning....it more or less eliminated my temptation by taking me away from the food! Lunch was chinese, so that was good, I had a lot of good yummy healthy food to choose from. I have a clogged kitchen pipe right now, so I got the day off completely from cooking as my kitchen is in a bit of disarray. So for supper we went to Arby's and I had a salad. My *cheats* today were one bite of pizza( leftovers) and I had a couple small bites of bread off  Emma's sandwich at Arby's. Overall, what I feared would be my worst day, turned out to probably be my best day. Eating chinese today made me think.....I need to learn how to make yummy healthy food, then I have no need for guilt when partaking in it's goodness! I am currently slowly eating some frozen grapes. They are great! Looking forward to my devoted fitness class in the morning!!! 

Meals:
Breakfast: 2 cereal bars

Lunch: mushrooms, green beans, chicken n broccoli, grilled chicken, 2 egg rolls, a small saucer size salad and a small bowl of egg-drop soup. Water
           






Supper: Chicken salad with ranch dressing. Water
















Saturday, January 18, 2014

It is sad really. I have found myself to be enslaved to food. Again, not that I eat massive amounts all the time, but it is really just sad how I have to battle within myself NOT to fall into the temptation. Watching everyone eat pizza tonight wasn't that bad at first because I had my yummy salad and I was eating it. It was later after everyone had eaten and went on about their way and I seen the "leftovers" no one wanted. I wasn't hungry, but I was DYING for a bite..or two...or three. I wish I could say I am VICTORIOUS!! But I'm not. I took a couple bites. Sigh. I realize that I am not going to conquer this devil in one day. So, though disappointed with my complete lack of self-control, I shall try again tomorrow. I do not like being a slave to anything but Christ! When I was smoking and decided that I needed to quit, the Lord was gracious. When I had a bad withdraw, I would pray for Him to take it from me. And He did. Just like that, my craving was gone. Later, I would have another, but I would pray again, and He would take it again. I need to do that now. I guess because I haven't viewed what I eat as something that is sinful, It hasn't even dawned on me while I am in my fixation mode to pray. Tomorrow shall be a great day to begin that practice. ESPECIALLY with breakfast tomorrow at church and lunch afterwards when we *usually go out to eat. Yes....I will need LOTS of prayer tomorrow! I can do ALL things through Christ! I can do this!

Saturday, January 18, 2014

Breakfast: (forgot pic) Spinach souffle(store bought), a garlic biscuit, and the last leftover steak. Water

Lunch: ( almost forgot lol) A yummy salad with romaine lettuce, carrots, broccoli, cheese, bacon bits, and homemade dressing. Coffee. Water.

Supper: We were over at my mom's so we ordered pizza, however I had salad again. and I knew that would NOT last me till morning so I had a little macaroni-n-cheese with deer meat that I made for lunch when we got back home. 

Exercise:
well, today I helped Eric unload a truck load of wood. I had hoped to do my devoted fitness again, but it just didn't happen :( 


I have noticed that I "sneak" a lot, here and there. Last night it was a garlic biscuit, and some chocolate chips shortly before bed. It wasn't a lot, but it was still food! I have found myself sneaking bites of what I make for everyone else(for the sake of taste) I wouldn't want to feed my family something that tastes bad. I ate 2 or 3 chicken nuggets that the kids had yesterday for lunch. I was battling my flesh SO HARD that I finally had to tell Heather to move them out of my sight. The same with the garlic biscuits, the night I made them I fought myself not to eat one, then did....then fought myself to the point of asking Eric to move them to the other side of the table so that I wouldn't eat another one. I had a garlic biscuit this morning while I was making breakfast. I had to FIGHT myself to not go into the kitchen last night everytime I got up to go to the bathroom. Literally argue with myself, and battle and make myself just go back to bed empty handed. I am realizing that might be my biggest downfall! They seem so small and insignificant, which is why in my head I can reason out why it isn't "so bad". But, seeing it all put together, makes it seem a lot BIGGER!! Now my sinful self wants to say, "
Oh, but I don't do this all the time, just the past couple days are bad examples". But is that really true? Or does it just seem that way because before I wasn't fighting myself to NOT eat when I would get a hankering for something. This is something that I definitely have to conquer. Maybe even to the point of designating myself healthy snacks to have between meals so that I don't reach for the quick unhealthy stuff when it hits me and I have a craving. It literally reminds me of what it was like when I quit smoking. I would have the WORST withdrawals and be DYING for a cigarette. I must say, I did not expect it to be THIS hard. Controlling my eating is proving to be A LOT harder than exercising. I guess because I naturally WANT to be more active, so I am pleasing myself in an exhausting kind of way, lol. Just gotta keep the motto....ONE DAY AT A TIME!!, I might even have to resort to ONE HOUR AT A TIME!! Praying the Lord will give me strength!

My reason for THIS season of my life!

Agh, Saturday.....The day to just.......STICK WITH IT!!! My brain almost tempted me into the "this is the weekend....you can relax on the weekends...." NO!!!  LOL. With that being strongly stated, here are 3 of the biggest reasons I need to do just what I said.....
My Heather Bug!!

My Jac-A-bub!!!
and ....
My Emma Lou-Lou!!
What blessings they are to me!! The Lord has truly blessed me, and it is up to me to make sure I make the most of the time He is giving me with them. Being at the weight that I am, I am risking my health and missing important valuable time with them. I want to be able to jump on the trampoline with them, to run and play, to feel good and have the energy to really engage and enjoy them while they are young. I want this!!! I can DO this!!! One day at a time!!! 

Friday, January 17, 2014

Agh, I already feel the devil nipping at my heels.... My best friend/ devoted fitness instructor isn't feeling well today so she cancelled class. And fb would indicate that the roads have black ice in spots. My plans were to go to the gym today, and they still are, maybe just a little later than normal. Please pray for my friend Cathy, that she would feel better soon and also for everyone traveling this morning to and from, that everyone would get to where they are going safely. Today is a good day!!

*I might not do this every time, but I will post pictures of what I eat when I can... Visual!!!


Meals:


Breakfast:  Flaxseed pancakes with Coffee. I also had an orange as an EARLY morning snack!
(I also had 1 of my garlic biscuits before breakfast)

Lunch: a YUMMY salad with homemade ranch dressing/ Water, and also some small chunks of the steak from last night :)

Supper: Tonight is TACO night!! I had 2 tacos(my tortilla was a piece of lettuce) and a plate of tortilla chips and toppings...(which I didn't finish and Eric ate the rest)


Exercise:
Went to the gym and did 10min. on the elliptical( which for me is exhausting!!) 10 min. on the treadmill, and then Heather and I went and played racquetball for about an hour. 






Thursday, January 16, 2014

Current Pic of my soon to be old self :)

Jan. 16, 2014   334 lbs. 
 This is not who I am. I am someone who loves the outdoors. I love to go camping, horseback riding, hiking. I love to dance. I LOVE VOLLEYBALL! These are all things that either I can't do right now ( horseback riding) or things that I have limited ability to do( hiking, dancing, volleyball). I want this to change. I want ME to change. I have the power through Christ to achieve ALL things. I WILL achieve my goal!!!

Thursday, January 16, 2014

Meals: 
Breakfast: oatmeal with brown sugar/ coffee
Lunch: veggie soup with deer burger/coffee & water
(you are doing great today!! Keep it Up!!)
Supper: mixed veggies, cauliflower mashed potatoes, and deer steak. I also had one garlic biscuit. Water to drink.






Exercise: 
Did 30 min. devoted fitness in my living room. 
and I am still doing dance moves as I go throughout my day LOL~! 










Today starts a long journey to a NEW me!!!!

Today is January 16, 2014. I am 32 years old and I currently weigh 334 lbs. I am not happy with myself. I have a lot to change and I start today. This is my pledge to myself, my husband, and my children. From this day forward I will only eat healthy. I will do some sort of exercise EVERYDAY at least 30 min. and I will have a private time with God, studying His Word, and leaning on Him for strength to overcome myself. I am my own worst enemy. I allow my feelings to dictate what I put in my mouth and that has to change. This will be my accountability to keep track of my diet, and my daily exercise. My outlet to vent when I get tired and want to give in and give up. My place to cry out to the One that can carry me through and keep me going till I reach my goal. My long term goal is 200 lbs. I will get there through a series of smaller more attainable goals. My short term goals will be 10 lbs./month. My mid-term YAY goals will be reaching 299 lbs. and 249 lbs.!!! I can do this. I know I can. At 10 lbs. a month, I will reach my first YAY goal by April 20, 2014. I start today!